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We talked, albeit cryptically, about the next chapters of our life here. And the first stage of that next chapter is repatriation to England.
Repatriation is scary. Cyprus has been home for the past three years and it has become so familiar that I almost feel like I can't call England my home anymore. It's a very confusing time right now.
Leaving one "home" to go "home" - sure it is exciting to be going back to a whole bunch of friends and family who I miss on a daily basis. But I will be honest with you, the excitement is intertwined with nerves, panic and occasionally, anxiety. I know what you're thinking; why would I be nervous about going home.....? Well that's kinda the point. It hasn't been home for over three years. And I have to stay it is a weird feeling, being scared about going home.
I guess I got used to life in Cyprus; the climate, the culture and the routine of life here.
Simple things like remembering how to top up my oyster card, which tube line to take, where to grab lunch from or what rush hour stuck on a bus in London is like, have all escaped me. Whenever I return to London for short trips, I feel like a tourist in my home town. I feel anxious and unprepared and at the same time, take in so much more of the city, that I had previously overlooked.
I wonder how long it will take to get back into the swing of London life?
I've always thought about this, it kind of saddens me in a way because I love the climate where I live so much that I don't think I could ever really be happy in England again even though my entire family is there and I know I'm missing out on my Nanna's last years of life...
ReplyDeleteI struggle a lot with that because I know she wants me to do what makes me happy but at the same time I feel really selfish for moving six-thousand miles away and having only been back once.
I totally get you - I love my expat life and I am getting ready to go on another adventure to another hot country (after my england pit stop) and while I love my friends and family and lots of stuff about London, I just dont think I could live there again. Never say never though.
DeleteMy grandma turns 91 at the end of March - every time we skype I see her getting older and older and I am dreading that day that I dont get to say goodbye cause I was off living my life in another country. But I know she would hate to think that I didnt live my life or do certain things because I was worried about her or other peopl for that matter. Sometimes Nicole you have to be a little selfish in life, because it is your life too and you have to do what makes your heart happy. You can only make so many sacrifices. I feel like we have the same thoughts on these expat issues and it's nice to know I am not alone!