why I keep blogging

I'm not going to lie, blogging isn't easy. It is my hobby and my passion and I do it because I love to write, but that doesn't always mean it is easy. Sometimes, and I think us non-professional bloggers might feel this more than most, it feels like blogging is hassle. 

I have a full time job, house chores, a family and friends all of which I want to devote time to and sometimes, the blog has to come second of third or fourth down the list of priorities. But those days when I neglect the blog are the days when every day life becomes a bit too much and actually I need the blog more than ever, as my escape.

It is a little bit of a vicious cycle. 

Many people say why do you do it? That's a very good question since it draws no revenue and takes up a lot of time. But my answer is always because I love to write. Even if no one else reads what I write, just the simple act of sitting at my laptop and writing about stuff I have done, stuff I am passionate about or issues close to my heart is fulfilling. Some people read, some people do sports, some people bake. I blog. And when I get a comment and you realise that someone, somewhere is reading your words, a sense of excitement shivers over me. And aside from the comments, a whole host of amazing opportunities have come from with this blog.

I read an interesting post recently over on Media Marmalade: How to Juggle a Daily Blog & Full Time Career. Many of the things she discusses are always on my mind. I would never give up my job to blog full time but I want to dedicate a decent amount of time to developing my blog and growing my content and sometimes I feel lost about how to do this. Juggling a full time job and blogging daily just isn't that easy. 

If you ever feel overwhelmed by blogging, it is time to take a step back and re-group, plan, prioritise and make some to-do lists. She says it better than me, so go check out this post and this post. Sometimes reading the words of another blogger and realising your not the only one who struggles is the push you need to get back on the blogging horse. 

The expat situation: a mothers take

Expat life in Dubai is turning out pretty well. And if I am honest better than I had imagined it would. So while I am enjoying sun it is all too easy to push the homesickness and the moments of missing friends and family to the back of my mind. But what about the people left behind?

millie where is everyone? 

My future mother-in-law is a pretty amazing women; she has taken me under her wing and accepted me into her family and is much more than just the boyfriends mother. She is my go to for advice whether it be about life, work, cooking or any number of those random questions that only mothers know the answer to. 

She has always been amazingly supportive of our life choices and no matter how much she misses us, she always accepts our decisions. Despite the heartache of goodbyes and missing important milestones, she secretly loves the fact that we are expats because she gets to live vicariously through us and this blog. 

So when she came to me and said she wanted to write something for the blog, I jumped at the chance. And her writing will fit in perfectly in my little internet diary. This may or may not become a regular feature but a mothers take on our little expat situation is certainly an interesting read. 

The Expat Situation: A Mothers Take

First let me introduce myself.  I am today's guest blogger and you may have heard of me before; my former appearances have taken the form of 'the boyfriend's mother'.  I follow Mimi's blog avidly both from a simple interest point of view and from an utterly selfish point of view - a view to following the adventures of Mimi and her boyfriend (my son) as they embark on each new chapter in their lives.  

You could call it voyeuristic but I am simply the parent left behind, many miles away.  Which got me thinking.  Mimi's blog provides an insight into expat life; where to go, how to behave, how to cope with being so far away from home, but what about those left behind?  The friends and family back home - how are we meant to cope?

When they first told me they had decided to head off to seek fame and fortune abroad, my initial reaction of excitement for them turned into the realisation that they would be so far away and I panicked about how I would maintain the close relationship we had as a family.  However, with a little bit of effort on both sides, it's actually turned out quite well.  The internet has provided that essential lifeline.  From the daily thoughts and photos on WhatsApp to following status updates on Facebook and Mimi's superb blog of expat life and of course, the weekly Skype session, I still feel included in their lives without being overbearing (I hope).  

Sometimes I just need to read and not comment - on days when I am missing them I can see what they are up to and I know they are safe and happy.  The one line What'sApp comments tell me they are thinking of me during their daily routine and of course the weekly Skype sessions bring me into their home and them back into mine.   Of course it's no substitution for kisses and hugs but it'll do for the times in between reunions.  Yes, it takes a little bit of effort on both sides but it provides that all important reassurance, for all of us, that we are loved and thought of.

But just when things are all fine and dandy, along comes an important day on the calendar like Christmas or a birthday - theirs and ours.  So how do you celebrate with such a vast landscape between you?  Planning is key.  Ideally you know when these dates are coming up giving you enough time to ensure that cards are dispatched in plenty of time (make sure you allow for a dismal postal service - I've already bought this year's Christmas cards - I'm not taking any risks).  Ensure that the time for 'the birthday Skype session' is agreed in advance - avoiding the disappointment of missing a call due to the huge time difference.  

The issue of presents is one I'm still working on and which I admit to having failed at dismally this year.  The trick is to recruit someone who lives in the country with them who you can trust to do the 'shopping and wrapping' for you hence avoiding paying extortionate postal costs that far outweighs the value of the present you bought!  Alternatively, you can try and persuade them to wait until you see them again but this does imply that they have a patient personality - not one of my son's greatest attributes!  By the way, don't even think about 'digital' cards or gifts.  

Having lived abroad myself for many years, I know that there is no substitute for tearing open an envelope or wrapping paper on your birthday or Christmas which has come from home - especially when you wish you were with your family.  It shows you love them and wish they were home too.

I mentioned recruiting a friend.  From a parent's point of view this is key.  You need to find out the name and contact details of at least one person that sees them on a regular basis.  And make sure that person has your contact details too.  It's not something we want to think about but what if you need to make emergency contact?  Or what if you haven't heard from them for a while?  This is easier to do nowadays with the internet but still essential.  Hopefully you will never need to do this but it's just one more thing that will let you sleep peacefully at night.

And last but not least - the big reunion.  Again, planning is key (both diary and financial).  Book a flight as soon as you can, even if it's months ahead.  British Airways book 364 days in advance and have started a deposit option (pay the balance later).  Knowing when I am going to see Mimi and my son again cheers me up on days when I miss them.  It means I can start collecting for a 'goodie box' of things that I might come across that I know they will love.  I have downloaded a free countdown app (Days Until) on my phone and I know that it will be exactly 25 weeks, 4 days and 11 hours until I see them again.

Working abroad is one of the greatest experiences and adventures they will ever have but keeping up solid family relationships is essential for everyone.  Once the initial excitement has died down the realisation that they are on their own will hit them as much as it will hit you.  All it takes is a little bit of effort and thought and a fast internet connection.  

The world is really not that huge after all.

plan for life -v- life's plan

Sometimes I get these pinch me moments where I forget where I am. I wake up in the morning wondering whether I am still in Cyprus. I never wake up in the morning wondering whether I am in England....why? Because the sound of air conditioning tells me before I even open my eyes that this ain't England. 

I start my day in a back of a taxi, speeding down a 12 lane highway, with high-rise glass buildings to my right and left, bright blue sky and beating sun above me and a job I have already fallen in love with, ahead of me. It is easy to forget that this is "normal" life for the foreseeable future. 

Life has developed in ways I never imagined it would and the shy little girl from London is now a distant memory. The pinch me moments come when I realise how far I have come and when I take a step back, I almost don't recognise myself. All this has come from being an expat; voluntarily thrusting myself into different worlds has allowed me to grow as a person, learn a lot of stuff I never thought I would and gain a new found confidence.

And when I look at my life pre expat, I really kinda wonder how it came to this. I never had a plan to live in a different country, never had a plan to be an expat and I never thought I would end up working in the Middle East. For someone who loves to be organised, I had never really thought about what I wanted from life 5 years down the line because I wasn't confident enough to think that I could get there. Strange things happen when you least expect then and my growing confidence has made the choices attached to where we go and what we do, a little bit easier to make. 

But since I never had a plan for life maybe my life had a plan for me. Which leads me onto a whole other, rather philosophical section of this post. 

I am not religious; I attended church alongside my parents and brother until I was about 10 and then when my teenage years hit I made the decision that I didn't believe and church was not for me. While I don't believe in god, sometimes I think there must be something out there. 

I once had a conversation with a very wise lady (I'm sure she won't mind me mentioning it) about beliefs. I don't believe in much except karma but her sincere words made me at least contemplate the idea of deeper beliefs or beings out in this world to protect and look after us. Somehow I always land on my feet and whether that is luck or karma or maybe my mother watching over me, I feel incredibly lucky that life is panning out well. And it makes it hard to completely disengage with the idea that something more powerful is looking after me. 

I feel like I have found my place through our expat adventures and my personality has benefited from these experiences greatly. I have never been super confident in myself or my skills. I know I have a decent amount of work experience, I am a good person, I am good at writing and I have developed a great work ethic but I have never been confident and I always felt like the quiet one in new social situations. But with the move to Dubai I have begun to throw myself out into the world a bit more, talk confidently to anyone and everyone and enjoy life without worrying. It is a refreshing turn of events and I find myself in social situations, outgoing and talking with strangers so effortlessly that inside my brain, I am like "hey is that really you, noooo it can't be". 

I am pretty sure wherever we live in the world the pinch me moments will continue because I will be forever grateful for the opportunities we are given. There have been ups and downs but if life has it's own plan I am happy to take what it throws our way. 

does being online affect our relationships?

source

A few weeks ago in Grazia there was a really interesting article entitled "Are online relationships more intimate than real ones?" Which as someone who uses the internet to maintain the majority of the relationships in their life, got me thinking. 

A new study from Queen's University in New York has found that online conversations with partners are more open and honest than those you have in the flesh. Interesting right. And while I don't 100% agree with the studies findings I do think there is an interesting discussion to be had. 

Twenty-something's like myself are growing more and more reliant on the internet to develop, maintain and even end our personal relationships. We are a generation of social media obsessed professionals who include the online world in the most precious moments of our day. Just look at bloggers; we write about everything (or almost everything) and publish it, giving the world the authority to read and judge us. 

But it is our personal relationships that I guess, are helped or hindered by being online. As someone who has been in a long distance relationship on and off for several years, the internet is my savior. It allows me to have that instant contact with the boyfriend which would otherwise be missing. We can share moments of our day in real time, over what'sapp, get a look at each others dinners via Instagram and talk face to face via Skype.

In our case being online is a necessity rather than simply a lazy way of communicating. I would give up the internet in a heartbeat if I meant I could swap our Skype time for a real life date night. However I do wonder whether we talk more freely to each other through the internet than when we are face to face or whether actually it is the other way round. Do we hold our tongues more when we're online, to spare each other's feelings and enjoy the precious moments of communication we do get, rather than spending them arguing across Skype. 

Being online has been crucial to our relationship. But I don't think it has made us any less honest when we are together. Maybe we let the smaller things go; time apart has taught us to appreciate the moments when we are together and with that comes a realisation that his socks strewn across the floor and my need to tidy stuff away are just little drops in the ocean which although may be annoying, can certainly be overlooked.

I guess it comes down to a balancing act. We have almost become socialized to use our smartphones throughout every aspect of our day and as such it is logical that it is easier for us to convey our feelings across whatsapp. And I'm sure many people in the future will have a problem resulting from this. Maybe we will loose our backbones, or the ability to voice our opinions and emotions when a real life situation of potential conflict rears it's ugly head.

Possibly. But I guess that's a symptom of modern society we will have to accept because I can't see the demise of the internet coming any time soon.

Politics and the UK

source

Last week, in the basement of pizza express in Baker Street I found myself having a politically motivated conversation about UKIP's rise in the country and the irony of an anti EU political party whose leader has a German wife. 

I am by no means clued up on politics. In fact I would say I'm quite the opposite and what I do know comes from either BBC news or other grown ups in my life. But I feel like that's almost ok since no political party in the UK ever seems to reach out to young voters.  They try, they say they do, but I don't think that As such I turned up to the polling station with the vague idea that I was voting for the local election and for a European Member of Parliament. Why I was allowed to pick three local candidates I am still none the wiser. 

Those few moments in a little booth felt like an eternity. I haven't been back in the country very long and am leaving again soon, but I wanted to exercise my democratic right as a British citizen to help shape the country I may one day come back to. And in a world where I am privileged to be able to vote it would have been rude not too.

The problem is, young people are so isolated from politics and I think many people like me are uneducated about the elections, and as such do not go and vote. 

I don't know if it is because politics is not cool among the generation of young professionals, or whether it is because we feel like it doesn't affect us still. Maybe it is because people are overwhelmed with the political ideals of this country and the hundreds of issues that the everyday person has, most of which are never substantially addressed by politicians. 

Or maybe like me they just feel like there is no education available for young voters and as such are confused by the whole process, intimidated even and assume their vote is less valued than our parents or grandparents. 

I have become quite disillusioned with the government and many factors, before I left for Cyprus and now,  do push me towards the view that voting is a waste of time. Your vote is meant to help make changes for the good, the problem is I feel like the changes that have gone in the UK haven't really helped anyone but the government and the rich elite. It may be an idealistic view and many say well why do care anyway if you are leaving the country again. 

But I do care because I leave behind family and friends who will all be affected by changes to national policy and impacted by cuts in the NHS, changes in transport and tax increases.

And if you like this, I suggest you read this excellent article on the Telegraph Blog. 

the sixth month of the year already?

source

Can someone please tell me how it is already June? 

I can't understand where the last five months have gone and and I don't know what I have achieved in 2014 so far. Well actually I have achieved a lot but i'm not going to start listing stuff down because that will get way too boring. 

What I can say is that June is going to be good. It is the month where finally all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place; I will be in Dubai in two weeks, reunited with my four legged friend and my boyfriend (at long last). All the hard work of planning will have paid off and I can start the next chapter; getting to know a new country, embracing a new culture and learning a new way of life. And with that comes the inevitable job hunting, navigating a strange city, working out the optimum temperature for the air con and reading food labels in supermarkets. 

June is going to be a month of new discoveries, new adventures and photo heavy blog posts. I would apologise in advance for the photographs of shiny buildings, beaches, sunsets and a seemingly perfect life in Dubai. Except i'm not because we all know expat life ain't easy and it is those moments that are our reward. Plus it is nice to document new adventures after months of hard work, planning and sacrifices and practice the photography skills. Or at least that is my excuse. 

life's unexpected intrusions

source

Sometimes it is easy to let life get in the way of blogging. I started this year by saying I would get back to my blogging roots and only blog when I had something important to write.  But it is quite easy to let that mindset take over and I feel like I have become a little distant from the very thing that has kept me so motivated over the last year, the blog. 

Sometimes it is difficult finding the balance between life and other commitments such as blogging and while I said I wouldn't be so hard on myself I feel like I have gotten into lazy ways. I mean I am not working at the moment which means I have ample free time to plow into the blog, but I havent. Yes I have been organising and navigating several international moves for both me and my four legged friend, but still, I know deep down inside I have used that as an excuse. 

And it is even worse when I think about the sheer amount of things that have gone on since I returned to London, most of which have not graced the pages of my little online diary just yet. I think sometimes, translating what is going on in your life, onto the pages of your blog can be a little difficult. And sometimes I feel the things that are going on my life, down to the sense of emptiness I currently feel should be left behind the publish button. 

It was actually Vanisha from A Life Unstyled that made me realise I have a lot to say. Sometimes when you are in your own life, you cant see the importance of certain things, or that they could be translated into meaningful content for the blog. 

So while I have a little extra free time, before the madness of the next move begins in roughly two weeks time, I am going to busy behind the scenes, planning and prepping this blog and getting it back to its former, content rich, glory. 

turning 26

Birthdays are not my strong point. I think because I am never very high maintenance about celebrating them, they come and go before my eyes and just like any other day, end. 

Turning 26 is not a big deal for me. I have the philosophy that age is just a number and have never really had a life plan and as such, birthdays do not fill me with fear about the things I haven't done. I think this attitude is refreshing; so many people get hung up on their age and what they, or other people say, they should have achieved by a certain age. 

Sure I think it is good to have life goals, but getting preoccupied with ticking off things from you bucket list as your age increases rapidly, is a waste of time in my opinion. I never classed myself as an adventurous person; I am introvert, like a small and reliable group of friends and feel activities should be planned and organised. But, and this is mainly thanks to my partner in crime for the past 9 years, I am starting to see the benefits of a spontaneous life. 

If 10 years ago, you had said to me that at the age of 26 I would have lived in another country, let alone be planning my second international move, dog and all, I would have said you were crazy. But that is the nice part about expat life. The opportunities that open up to if you break out from the comfort zone of London are well worth it in the long run. 

Since I have been away from London for the past three birthdays I decided to make this one a  weekend long affair, starting with mexican and mojitos, an Italian lunch and family filled day and ending with a weekend in the countryside with walks, wine and fresh air which you will undoubtedly hear more about next week. 

My 26th year is set to be a good one and I am so thankful for the support of family and the amazing friends that still bother with me despite my unpredictable schedule. 

writing in the real sense

source

I have talked about writing, why I write about what I do and how much to share (any bloggers inner demon), here and here. But writing is not just something that keeps me sane. It is a skill instilled into me from a young age and one that has so much attachment to my personality. Sure shopping, a cup of tea and girlie wine time also do the trick, but writing is a personal and individual thing that can sometimes feel like a sort of self-help, internal therapy. Writing this blog is a little bit of a personal passion and has in turn allowed me to make some wonderful blogger friends and have some work published along the way.

But I was writing well before the blog took over my life. Since I can remember, I wrote. As a kid I wrote, or at least tried to write stories and my mum actively encouraged us to write thank you notes to friends and relatives after birthdays and christmas. It was part and parcel of the present opening process; unwrap, sit in awe of unwrapped gift and write down the name of the giver. It was just the way it was done in our family because from a young age my parents taught us manners and to show gratitude and thanks to people.

You would think that with the abundance of instant communication tools out there, like email and facebook and whatsapp that my thank you note writing days were over. But you would be wrong. As I got older and friends moved countries and I moved countries, the letter writing seemed even more poignant. I say that because when you're trying to maintain long distance relationships with friends, it is easy to rely on technology and forgo personalised interaction. But I know myself that receiving a handwritten letter carries with it much more weight than an email ever could.

There are many reasons for this; the effort someone incurred to actually post the letter for a start because it is all to easy to tap away at a keyboard and then press send. But the personal touches like handwriting, scribbles and mistakes not to mention holding pieces of paper in your hand that the writer held in theres, really gives you a sense of connection with that person. I have never cried over a whatsapp message but I sure have over a letter. 

“It is so important, in a digital world, to have the dignity to sit down and write something in your own hand,” (Cristiano Magni, a New York fashion publicist, nytimes.com, april 2014). 

As an expat, sometimes friends and family may not feel involved in your life anymore as you flit between countries. Writing a letter that smells like the beach when it is opened, or sending a postcard of the view you're staring at as you write it helps the receiver feel that connection to your life. 

“Like a lot of people in my generation, I might think, ‘Oh, just send them a text,’ ” said Ms. Gelderman, who is 20. “But I actually enjoyed writing the notes because in the process of opening a note, feeling the paper, seeing the imperfection of the writing, reading the message in another person’s voice, you actually feel like you have a piece of that person in your hand.” (Carroll Irene Gelderman, nytimes.com, april 2014). 

Where did this post come from? This great article published a few weeks ago on the NY Times website which notes that handwritten letters are on trend and that recent scientific findings have linked gratitude to increased optimism, stress reduction and a better night’s sleep. 

Do you write the old fashioned way? If so, tips on where you stock on up stationary would be greatly appreciated, oh and I have thing about finding the perfect pen so suggestions welcome. 

The reality of the past year living in Cyprus

I love this little island for many reasons; the weather, the friends I have made and the experiences I have had. But the last year has been a struggle. Since my partner in crime left, I haven't been myself. Everyone who has spent any considerable amount of time with me will tell you I haven't been myself.

I fell foul to my own situation and will hold my hands up and tell you quite honestly, that instead of embracing the situation, I hid. I hid behind my own loneliness and I hid within the safe confines of the home we had made here. It was easy because I am independent and I can spend time with me, myself and I and not really be bothered about it. But after a while, no matter how much of an introvert you are, you do get bothered by it. 

Learning to live alone in a foreign country was an experience shall we say. And while I have some amazing friends and family here that I will miss so much, I let my independence and pride get in the way a lot. I have this innate notion that if I can do something by myself even a little, I'm not going to ask for help. I don't really know where that comes from. I blame growing up in London and never having to rely on anyone.

In turn my confidence in myself has significantly dropped. My confidence to be myself, to have faith in myself, to have conviction in my decisions and to feel proud of my skills have all taken a battering and the funny thing is, it is only in the past few months that I truly noticed it.

Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing.

I fell like this little island has sucked a lot of life out me and there is a sense of cabin fever washing over me. Maybe it would be different if said partner in crime was here. Maybe it wouldn't. Who knows.

What I do know is that the older I get, the more I realize I want to have more experiences and more adventures and in turn grow more as a person. I don't think I am comfortable in my own skin 100% and I don't think I know what I want to do with my life. 

But the place to find those answers, for now at least, is not Cyprus.

Cancer Research UK and the power of Facebook

Social media gets a lot of grief sometimes. You read article after article about how much power social media has over our lives and how attached we have become to our smart phones, social media accounts and the internet in general. I am from the generation that has become reliant on the virtual world to get through the day. But there is a flip side and sometimes this power is used for good. 

On Tuesday, the #nomakeupselfie hashtag started trending on Facebook and it soon took off. Anyone in the UK or with friends in the UK will have probably noticed their Facebook newsfeed being flooded with make up free ladies posting their photographs. I think pretty much every single female friend I have on Facebook joined in. The amazing thing is that this wasn't a campaign started by Cancer Research UK. It was a campaign that grew organically, through the power of Facebook. 

In response Cancer Research UK set up a dedicated text line for people to easily make donations and in 48 hours, £2 million was raised. Of course there has been criticism of the campaign, saying that it took the focus away from the cause and brought it back to vanity and beauty. 

But how can raising such a large amount of money for such a good cause be criticised. Women, including myself stripped themselves bare, which is a big thing for most of us and did so in aid of a specific and worthy cause. It wasn't an opportunity to show off. It wasn't narcissistic. It was a chance for women to do something simple to show support for a good cause.

I lost two amazing women in my family to cancer and as such I know first hand the devastating impact the disease has at all stages. It is such a prevalent disease in todays society and if my small donation can be used to make a difference for future patients, well going bare faced on Facebook is a small gesture.

ABC Series: J is for Job

the perfect work space via a beautiful mess

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we didn't have to work; if Sunday evening's weren't so stress inducing and Monday mornings weren't filled with tantrums. And then I remember what it was like when I was unemployed after university and remember how dull it was. 

I guess if we didn't work, there would have to be some endless pot of gold at the end of the rainbow to tap into. 

These thoughts are flowing through my brain as I enter a small transition phase. Moving from one country to another often means being somewhat jobless for a while and that's kind of scary. In less than two weeks I will leave my current job and that will be the end of full time employment and a steady income. While I am freaking out a little bit (ok a lot) about being jobless, I want to be positive about this time and use it wisely. 

I want to find something I love doing; I want to be one of those people that make you sick because they do what they love and they get paid to do it. For the last three years I have worked at a financial services company and while it has given me amazing opportunities and taught me a lot, I don't want to continue working in such an industry. I pretty much detest numbers after studying words for three years so maths teacher, accountant and financial analyst are all jobs off my tick list. 

Me and my brother were brought up in a hands on, creative household; I remember my mum was always baking, doing crafts with us, or reading us stories and that certainly rubbed off on us since I love writing and art and fashion and my brother is a designer. 

I guess at 25 years of age (nearly 26) I feel like I need to find what I want to do in life and find what I love in life and somehow combine the two. I am over working jobs that don't satisfy me; sure I am not a super ambitious career women type, but a job should be more than just about bringing home a pay check right since you are there 5 days out of 7. 

So I am going to take this break, the move and the international living head on and use the time to really build something for myself and look at ways to market my skills. 

Than challenge will be not getting lazy after landing in London, before heading off to the next destination. Any tips for staying motivated, job hunting, or figuring out what you want to do in life would be greatly appreciated. I love making lists; is that a profession?  

expat life: a trail of friends

source

Sometimes I wonder if being an expat is all worth it. Everything in life comes at a price right. 

As one little adventure comes to end, I am getting ready to return home to England and pick up another expat adventure in another country. The experiences I have had have made my time in Cyprus totally worthwhile but enough is enough. I have lived on in this country, on my own, for nearly a whole year and I don't have the strength to do it anymore. Sure I have some amazing friends here. The people I have met have become life long friends. But that's exactly where this post is coming from. 

Friends. How do they put up with us expats huh? All this coming and going. Saving for new adventures abroad. Uncertain locations and indefinite periods of time. Expat life is a little complex.

And the problem is my heart is kind of split in two; whilst I cannot contain my excitement at being reunited with some of my favourite girls in London town, I am leaving behind two very special ladies who have made my life in Cyprus a million times better, easier and funnier than it could have been. They have kept me sane especially over the past year and while they joke that I wont miss them and my departure signals the end of our friendship, in reality it is quite the opposite. 

I remember when we left London. I thought it would be easy. But it wasn't. You quickly realise the importance of those little coffee dates, catch ups and regular dinners, all starting at the standard Picadilly Circus tube station meeting spot. And somehow, I have managed to maintain most of my friendships back home, which make me even more excited to swap whatsapp and skype dates with real life, in the flesh interaction. Because I clung on for those friendships because I believe a little effort goes a long way and fingers crossed they will let me walk back into their lives like I never walked out. There isn't anything a large mojito and several hours of talking can't fix.

Many people really didn't understand why we were leaving London for Cyprus. And I guess to be honest we didn't either. But we knew there was more to life than London and at that point London was not the place for us. While Cyprus may have been an obscure choice, I think it brought us a lifestyle, a slower pace and a change of scenery we both needed. I haven't ruled out London from my life completely; the boyfriend is rather adamant we will never return but who knows where in the world will end up. Really, if living abroad has taught me one thing it is that your life doesnt have to be confined to where you were born and raised. If you dont want it to be. I mean not everyone has to take the same journey right.

One thing that I always found tough, is sharing plans. When you share your plans with someone, you are letting them into the inner workings of your brain. If they are your friends you will be sharing said plans because your either seeking support, reassurance or in the essence of friendship, just need to share all the thoughts and plans whirling around your brain. But it seems quite common that friends who you want reassurance from, question your motives. I am not going to lie, coming up against criticism concerning your life choices can definitely break you down a little. It can make you question yourself and we all know that is dangerous territory.

But at the end of the day, you are in this for you. Your journey is just that, yours. True, friends are a very important part of life, but so are experiences. And as such you have to make the decisions in life that are going to bring you happiness and offer the best results for you. If your friends are really friends, they will support you, maintain contact and savour you that much more when you return to them.

Shortly (I say shortly but departure is still more than a month away) I will swap Cyprus for London, I am feeling the same unease, anxiety and emotion as before because I am leaving behind more friends. Part of me feels bad leaving this little trail of fantastic friends around Europe. But you have to do what you have to do right. You cant stay because you dont want to leave the people you love when all the time the one person you love is far away. You cant stay because someone thinks it's a bad idea. You cant do stay to keep people happy. And you cant stay because you will always wonder what could have been. In pursuit of happiness it seems you have to be a little selfish.

Ganted it would be a lot easier if you could pick up all the people and take them with me. But if the past three years living in Cyprus have taught me anything, it's that i'm pretty good at holding down long distance friendships.

I is for introvert

source

I never really realised until I took the personality test as part of Jenni's blogtember challenge, that I am indeed an introvert. And I am not afraid to admit. 

I guess I always thought I was just independent; I have been cooking and doing my own washing since I was about 11 and had my first job at age 17. But actually looking at it, being an introvert and being independent are different, although it seems being independent comes as a result of being an introvert. Or maybe it is vice versa. 

I think introverted people are very misunderstood a lot of the time. Usually we shut ourselves off for a reason, mine is an internal defence mechanism, which usually kicks in when I am feeling overwhelmed by life or a specific situation. It is not because I don't care or am not interested. On the contrary, I care a lot, but sometimes I feel like I have had enough of giving to other people and need some me time to reboot. Because in my head if I can't be there for my friends 100%, I need to take a time out. 

Over the years I have learnt how to cope alone; not only just living alone but actually being with myself, having me time and not going too crazy with it. Inevitably there comes a time when being a introvert is not good because it transforms into loneliness. The past few weeks feel a little like that. 

There is so much to be done, to organise, to pack and to schedule. And while the pooch is wonderful, she isn't very useful when it comes to packing. I am feeling a little overwhelmed and anxious at the thought of an international move and have hidden behind my introverted personality to keep me sane. It has kind of bitten me in the ass and loneliness has reared it's ugly head. 

I have to say, I cannot wait to be home in London, with my dad and have an adult conversation. Because the only conversation I currently get at home is with the dog and while she is rather intuitive, her answers are a little lacking. 

a thought

Everyday I think about my mum. I know she would be proud of the person I have become, but I always have these little niggling thoughts in my brain; like what advice would she give me, what relationship would we have and would she have like the dress I wore. Well she would have loved today's dress for the pattern and the colour but all the other questions often go unanswered. 

I know from others that I am a lot like my mum. I share her organised, calm and considerate nature,  I share her neat handwriting, I share her perfectionist tendencies, I share her sense of humour and I share her ticklish spot; the soles of my feet if you're wondering. 

What sparked this post? A simple conversation about arguments with mothers and how roles play out; daddy's girl and mummy's boy. 

I don't recall ever having an argument with my mum, unless you count me throwing a tantrum in Tesco because she wouldn't let me put chocolate cookies in the shopping cart. My childhood was blissful in so many ways. I didn't come from a wealthy family, but I never felt like I missed out on anything, mainly because there was so much love in our house. And the fact that my mum was pretty creative and would knock out a little sewing project here and there and make cookies and do arts and crafts etc. 

I never got to experience that turbulent relationship most girls have with their mums at some point in their lives. I went through my teenage years in a house with men and although it had it's downsides, part of me is very glad. Because I have nothing negative to say about my mum. I never got so annoyed with her that I said horrible things. I never shouted at her. And I never had any of those cringey conversations in the middle of boots about lady products. Sure I had to figure out a lot of stuff on my own, probably the reason i'm so independent now, but you do what you have to do in a situation. 

What is it they say, when life hands you lemons make lemonade.....

eat cake for breakfast

source

Sometimes I really feel like I was born in the wrong generation. My grandmothers' generation didn't worry about calories, fats, portion sizes, the dimensions of their plate, the amount of tea or coffee they drank nor did they spend hours trawling the internet to find the quick remedies for bloating, fast weight loss or how to cut out carbs. Mainly because they weren't bombarded everyday with this stuff. 

No, my grandmother's idea of healthy eating is a plate that has meat, potatoes and vegetables. And there was always a desert on her table after dinner. No one ever told her that the chocolate pudding should have been made with dark chocolate because it is better for her or that she should have used less butter. 

Oh the good old days. The again those were days where smoking was encouraged and medicine wasn't as developed, yet they were still healthy and happy right.

Part of me feels like the world has got a little too consumed with certain things. This is coming after reading this article, which I totally enjoyed and agreed with from beginning to the end. "I dont count calories. I dont track carbs. And I seriously couldn't care less about how much fat I eat". She sounds like my kinda girl. 

Joking aside there are some really valuable points in this article which could help a lot of people if they just took a step back from the diet pages of the women's magazines. Because really, who can live off those meal plans they put in there anyway....

An interesting point in this article is that after years of dieting and chasing the dream of "thin" she realised she was tired of being hungry. Well I hate being hungry for one day let alone a few years. I think growing up I was lucky to have a mother who put balanced and yummy meals in front of us. But I think a really important thing is that I never heard my mother complain about her weight; I never saw her sucking her stomach in or getting upset whilst standing on the scales. And I am so thankful for that. Because I have a really basic attitude to food. I like food. If I want to eat I will. And I have curvy figure; an ass and wide hips and a little wobbly stomach that I am ok with. 

Because you know what, I would rather eat the 4th or 5th oreo cookie than not because I think it will affect my chances of being stick thin. Because shockingly enough, my body will never be stick thin because of it's structure. And I am ok with that too. 

I would much rather look like Kate Winslet than Kate Moss. 

So, read the article. Take from it what you will. And stop worrying so much. Life is too short to put the oreo cookies down. 

nothing great comes easy

I am not shy of hard work. But sometimes life is really hard work! 

I feel like I must have been really bad in a previous life because lady luck is not on my side and never has been really. The boyfriend feels the same so maybe we are both bringing our bad luck to the equation.

Anyway. The point is, we are making some pretty exciting plans at the moment which will actually involve us living in the same country and seeing each other for more than 4 weeks a year. Yep in the past year, I have had just 4 weeks with the boyfriend. Which sucks when you put the words on paper. And since I have been such a patient soul, I wish my luck was just a little better. Is that too much to ask?

Well the point is, as we make plans I feel like we come up against one wall after another. This isn't meant to be one of those oh-my-life-is-so-tiresome posts, because in all honesty we have had some amazing opportunities and have worked hard at every turn to ensure we make the best of each situation. I guess these trials and tribulations are part and parcel of a international life. If we want to move, travel, experience different countries and cultures, there is bound to be some pretty big barriers to break down right.

A mammoth task is ahead of us and international moving is never easy, but seriously, the obstacle course the universe is throwing at us is rather unnecessary. And that's before we even factor in relocating our little lady. Precious and slightly high maintenance cargo that she is, has really thrown a spanner in the works and will inevitably leave a large dent the bank balance, a lot more than anticipated but there is absolutely no question of her being left out of any plans.

Anyone who has a pooch will echo my sentiments I am sure. She is part of the family and where the family goes, she goes (but boy oh boy would expat life be simpler without her....ssssssssh.....I didn't say that). 

All of this basically comes down to one thing. The Cyprus chapter of my life will soon come to an end.....for now. We will surely return one day, but at the moment those days are far into the future. And in amongst all the plans there is some really important things to consider.

Like redesigning the blog for one! Priorities. Priorities. 

the downside to adult life

via pinterest

Adult life is a little scary. When your a kid, you always want to grow up faster. And when you get there, you suddenly realise that you should have treasured those worry free early days more than you did. Because adult life involves decisions; decisions which may be right or wrong, but ones you and you alone have to make.

Over the past few weeks I have had those oh my god moments of stress, anxiety and uncertainty. There have been scribbles on note pads, to do lists and long distance skype conversations. And all because we are at a time in our adult lives when some serious decisions must be made and how can you know if your making the right one. 

All a little cryptic I know, but the full account of said situation will all become clear at some point. For now I just needed to use this rather neglected blog space to share all the whirling thoughts I have in my head. 

And I know, I really must do better with the blog posts right; February was a slow starter to say the least. 

finding my roots again

The mornings, more specifically between 6.30 and 7.15am are my favourite time of the day (except for the end when my head hits the pillow). It is my thinking time; walking the dog, half asleep on quiet streets gives my brain time to mull over all the little bits of information, tasks to complete, worries and excitement that I have crammed into my skull. 

I have been a little quiet for the past few days. I decided that 2014 would the year where I got back to the roots of this blog. I want to write because I enjoy writing, but I don't just want to write for the sake of it.  

I feel like the blog diversified a lot in 2013 and I want to re-focus. This blog started way back in 2009 when I was living in England and was more focused to fashion and culture and all of the things that were surrounding me in those first few months out of university. Needless to say a lot has changed along the way and it would only be right for the content of this blog to reflect that; because what happens in my life and what happens on this blog are inextricably linked. 

Moving forward I want to write about the stuff I love; food, culture, photography, fashion and beauty products but with an expat focus. Many people will think, well how do any of the above link to being an expat and I would say, quite well! 

Expat life affects everything because. Your life in a different country means the food you eat and dare to cook yourself will change, the culture you experience and the things you photograph are influenced by your surroundings and the fashion you consume or the beauty products you deem as a necessity will be adopted depending on your climate. 

And at the root of it all, the blog remains somewhat of a lifeline, keeping me connected to world outside of Cyprus, to the family and friends I left in London and to my sanity.

2014, lets do this!

source

I found this image on pinterest a few days before 2013 ended and it made an impression on me; I feel a little bit like 2013 overtook everything and ending up suffocating me a little. It was full of unhappy experiences, and the negatives outshone the positives for sure. So with a new year comes a fresh start and 2014 seems like the year to take back control and remember what it's like to feel alive. 

Im pretty rubbish at keeping to resolutions as you will have noted here when I commented on the resolutions I made here, at the beginning of 2013. But in light of being positive and feeling alive in 2014, lets get a list going. Plus actually putting here on the blog in writing, makes me more inclined to at least try to complete some of them!

A bad habit to break
Breaking bad habits is always hard and I think you should tackle one at a time for optimum success. As such 2014 is the year I will stop eating my cuticles. I know.....its gross right. But I cannot resist. For as long as I can remember (probably since my teenage years) I have been eating the skin around my nails.  And I don't remember why I started but it is one of those things that I find myself doing when i'm nervous, anxious, stressed or angry. I also suffer from dry skin in general and this obviously makes the whole situation worse. But I intend to break this habit in 2014 with the help of some notoriously good products, namely Essie apricot cuticle oil and Burts Bees lemon cuticle butter. More about those and their (possible) success to come, in future blog posts. 

A new skill to learn
I want to crack html. I think it is one of those skills that makes and bloggers life easier and although I have picked up a few bits along the way thanks to tutorials from other bloggers like Rylee Blake or the wonderful lady behind Wonder Forest who has launched a website, aptly named icanbuildablog.com I haven't had the time or, let's be honest, the motivation to go it alone and take full advantage of their free tips and tutorials. But now seems like a good time to put my best foot forward and commit. And while I am there, a little refresher in photoshop is much overdue since the last time I used it was ohhhhh about 5 years ago in my final year at university!

A good deed
My some what unrealistic good deed would be following in the footsteps of the boyfriends Mum and doing some sort of charity running. I am always a little bit envious when she comes back from yet another 5K, red faced and sporting a nice medal round her neck, having just run and raised money for a good cause. But since I haven't been running since I left my luxurious London gym behind and moved to Cyprus, I am not sure if this is achievable. My goal would be to do the Cancer Research UK Race for Life; i'm not going to lie, I think the likelihood of me achieving this in 2014 is slim but I will start as I mean to go on and not only donate to a cause extremely close to my heart in money, but start running in 2014 with the aim of completing a 5k without needing oxygen at the end of it.

A book to read
One of my favourite authors is JoJo Moyes; I read two amazing books by her in 2013, Me Before You and The Last Letter from Your Lover. So since she is releasing a new book in February 2014, The One Plus One, this had to go on my reading list. I can 100% recommend the other two. Her style of writing just sucks you in and draws out your emotions; yes I was that girl crying at the end of the book and I am not ashamed to say it. 

A place to visit

In 2013 I wanted to travel more, but I made it to a grand total of 2 places; London and Latchi. And Latchi is only the other side of the island. Although London is always on my travel itinerary (and I did have some good trips in 2013), in 2014 I have my sights set further afield; Germany, Barcelona, Poland and New York. Lets hope 2014 is the year for so much needed travels.

I wonder how many of these resolutions will actually be marked as complete by the end of 2014; if it is all of them, we know it will have been a good year. Oh and one more resolution, no more long distance relationship. Enough said.